Helping Therapy Work: Tips for the Consumer
So you've decided to seek therapy and scheduled an appointment, but now what? What should you expect? What should you say? What is your responsibility and what is the therapists? These are common questions that many psychotherapy consumers have. As this section develops, it will provide some general information and tips about how to make therapy work for you. On this page, I'll cover some general tips and the additional articles will provide more specific information over time.
What Makes Therapy Work
The research is in and all things point to you! Many of the experts in the field who have waded through the mounds of research on how therapy works have come to the conclusion that the most important factor is the consumer. As with most issues, there is not complete agreement about this among therapists, however, increasingly therapist are coming to believe that what you bring to therapy is more important than what the therapist brings. This is not to say that the therapist is not important, just that they aren't as important as you.
These same experts suggest that the second most important factor is the relationship between the therapist and the client. In other words, having a good relationship with your therapist is important. However, healthy relationship involve their conflict, highs and lows, and differences of opinion. These will also occur with your therapist. Having some conflict with your therapist doesn't mean there is a problem in the relationship, it just means that you have a relationship with him or her!
There are many other factors that influence whether therapy will be successful or not, but these seem to be the two most important. They appear to be more important than the type of therapist, approach to therapy, or specific techniques used in therapy.
What does this Mean for Therapy?
First of all, it means that the therapist doesn't have a magic, cure-all solution to your problems. If therapy is going to be successful, you will have to do a good portion of the work with the help and support of your therapist. If you expect the therapist to make you better or put all the responsibility on them, it is not likely that therapy will be successful. When beginning therapy, its important that you are committed to doing the work of therapy.
Second, its important for you to tell your therapist how you are feeling about your relationship with him or her. Again, don't expect it to be all rosy or good, conflict is more normal than not. Many consumers make the mistake of dropping out of therapy at the first sign of conflict or discomfort in the relationship. However, this can lead from moving from therapist to therapist trying to find that perfect therapist (which doesn't really exist!). Instead, working through the conflict can be one of the most healing parts of therapy!
What Should I Do?
In addition to making sure you are committed to therapy and being honest with your therapist about your feelings about the therapy relationship, it is important to talk with your therapist about what you should do. Some therapists frequently assign homework assignments for you to work on, others do not. Some will suggest reading materials, others will not. This is largely dependent upon the approach the therapist takes. Homework and reading works better with some forms of therapy than others. What is best is to talk with your therapist about what they suggest and keep in mind different strategies often work better with different forms of therapy. In other words, what you should do may depend upon the type of therapy you are in and the therapist you choose to see.
Conclusion
Therapy is not easy and its not all up to the therapist. For therapy to work, you need to be willing to commit to the process. If you are willing to do this, there is a good chance you'll be able to feel satisfied with the outcome once you completed your therapy journey!